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Monday, October 9th, 2006
10:56 pm - Facebook-Dump 2
E6 is tired!12:15am Saturday, Oct 7 | Edit Note | Delete
... of these mothafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' plane!


hahaha Awesome movie. College students are more animated than i expected...or maybe they're just drunk most of the time. hm?

did i mention the greatness of the Umbrella, Our Savior? yeah, The Umbrella is great

I got a tea-cup-mug-thing. Thanks Polly!^_^ you made my week! and by the way, those quarters were fake.

HOORAY! For Terp Bucks
But the Snakes like flying
Freud was right.
The Internet is here to convenience us in everyway

flesruoy ot gniklat [pot?]s ot si tnemnethgilnE ot yek elbissop [tsrif rettel]
Relflect on a higher power.
"Try believing something bigger than yourself, it might cheer you up"AS


Death of Ego < God Complex < Narcissism < FUCK I FORGOT!
hmm... DEATH OF EGO?

but how far is reality?No comments | Add a commentUpdated 23 hours agow-w-w-w-wait wait wiat wait1:16am Friday, Oct 6 | Edit Note | Delete
"Flying Colors?" WHAT THE FUCK!?

...keep on truckin'

there're alotta question markers.No comments | Add a commentUpdated on FridayIt's easy8:01am Thursday, Oct 5 | Edit Note | Delete
Have faith. It will remain, no matter where you go

Make sure not to crush anything

Learn new skills, use those skills to help (vice versa and/or the inverse)

I am the Intermediate Chopstick-Master what is ready to get started

UNIverseITY...UNITY? [unite?]
UNIVERSE(ALL) ITY(attribute)
initiate and gain points for the the {[}Universality{]} attribute at a UNIVERSity
sex, drugs, rockn'roll, peace and love.
no no yes/no y e s

The sun'shinin'; I'm a magician... all i had to do was sleep.

[Music]: RHCP - Parallel UniverseNo comments | Add a commentUpdated on Thursdaycont'd4:28pm Tuesday, Oct 3 | Edit Note | Delete
With the timeless dimension, comes a different kind of knowing
One that does not kill the spirit that lives within every creature and everything,

A knowingness that does not destroy the mystery and sacredness of life
But contains a deep love or reverence for al that Is
A knowing of which the mind knows nothing

Break the old pattern of present moment denial and present moment resistance
Make it your practice to withdraw tension from past and future
When ever they are not needed
Step out of the time dimension as much as possible in everyday life

Start by observing the habitual tendancy of your mind to want
To escape from the now
You will observe that the future is imagined as either better or worse
If the imagined future is better,
It give you hope or pleasurable anticipation
If it is worse,
It creates anxiety

Through self-observation,
More presence comes into your life automatically
The moment you realize you are not Present
You Are Present

Whenever you are able to observe your mind
You are no longer trapped in it
Another factor has come in
Something that is not of the mind

The witnessing presence
Be Present as the Watcher of your mind
Of your thought and emotions
As well as your reactions in various situations
Be at least as interested in your reactions
As in the situation of person that causes you to react

Notice also how often your attention is in the past or future
Don't judge or analyze what you observe,
Watch the thought
Feel The Emotion
Observe the reaction

Feel the power gained above those things you observed
The still observing presence behind the content of your mind
The silent watcher... p_p

You get the jist

Let go. Live Life.
Not necessarily beside a brook.

No comments | Add a commentUpdated on ThursdayMiser(y)6:50pm Monday, Oct 2 | Edit Note | Delete
Death of Ego

Realize Deeply that the present moment is all you ever have
Make the now the primary focus of your life
Whereas before you lived in time and paid visits to the Now
Have your dwelling place in the Now
And pay brief visits to the past and the future

Always say yes to the present moment
End the delusion of time

Time and mind are inseparable

Remove time from the mind and it stops
Unless you chose to use it

To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time
The compulsion: to live in memory and anticipation
This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future
And an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment
And Allow it to Be.

The compulsion arises because the past give you an identity
And the future holds the promise of salvation and fulfilment in whatever form
Both are illusions

The more you are focused on time, past and future, the more you miss
the Now, the most prescious thing there is
Why? ...
It is the only thing
It's all there is

The present is the space within where your whole life unfolds;
The one fact that remains constant
Life is Now

There was never a time when your life was not now
Nor will there ever be

The Now is the only point that can take you beyond the limited confines of the mind
It is your only point of access into the timeless and formless realm of being

Is it possible for anything to ACTUALLY happen or Be outside the now?
The answer is obvious, no?

Nothing ever happened in the past
It happened in the now
Nothing will ever happen in the future
It will happen in the now

The moment you grasp this concept,
There is a shift in consciousness
From Mind to Being
From time to presence
Everything feels alive,
Radiates energy
Eminates being

Death of Ego Feed

Spooning Party!

I wanna kitty

No comments | Add a commentUpdated on ThursdayVoice4:42am Sunday, Oct 1 | Edit Note | Delete
View (ve)

o i c


i ce

We are such stuff as dreams are made of,
And our little life is rounded with a sleep.
~William Shakespeare

...Ive been having a hard time swallowing the moon lately.
No comments | Add a commentUpdated 5 hours agoExperience Death of Ego9:42pm Friday, Sep 29 | Edit Note | Delete
Contentedness Consumes

Wow, you've scraped off a lot of bacteria! Nice!
I Love you.No comments | Add a commentUpdated about a week agoLet go9:31pm Friday, Sep 29 | Edit Note | Delete
Experience Death of Ego

...your face...60 different waysNo comments | Add a commentUpdated last MondayLike Water12:01am Thursday, Sep 28 | Edit Note | Delete
Let go


No comments | Add a commentUpdated about a week ago

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12:02 am
my brain's bleeding my kidneys are floating my lungs arocks my eye is feeling the cinch my body is reeking of the fairy's scent. I am ready.

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Thursday, September 21st, 2006
3:31 am - Involuntary Paradigm shift
It looks like it's time for Raymond to die once more. I'll live by the book.

and I've treated my body and mind like shit for far too long Especially having promised peace and not following through..people are hot but. ... Just one more cigarette.

I'ts quiet in this room, 2 memories of warmth. Atomic Particles in uniform motion : )

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Sunday, September 3rd, 2006
11:28 am - sigh...more visits
We come together under the pretense of the golden mean of life on Earth. Smart, new chance, to transform the world.

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Friday, August 25th, 2006
1:28 pm - Last day.. Just like the first... Lemme listen to my music!
I am myself when I am silent. "If you see me not talking... thats when you're seeing raymond"

shit... i foorgot-- im flowing... but I think I've reached a point where It's not pruning anymore. I'm cutting to close to the tree. But thats the way my life is?
I do remember that day when I drove. But that's basic.. fo wheres my functioning?

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Thursday, August 24th, 2006
12:43 am - SpanGlish
The wanting... istill havent been able to just give it up JUST denounce like in the winter of 2005-2006.... It feels as if it is all an activity just to make sure that I am human,... i cant reall FEEEl ait as such but... just to feel... cuz i feel as if I cant feel righ now... i just want to feel...human...i just want to feel somethin; make sure im alive... it's jsut so unreal.

This seems to be the song of the day/ week

"The Dagger" - Roadrunner United
Your tongue is a dagger
And I am bleeding
My faded dreams were all for you

And with one word, and with just one word
Choking the life, I breathe my last
And with one look, and with just one look
You hold the key to this heart of glass

This is the withering
I’m aging years in moments
This is the path that leads
To my demise

Your tongue is a dagger
And I am bleeding
My faded dreams were all for you

And with one word, and with just one word
You’ve shattered my world and crushed my soul
And with one look, and with just one look
The rising sun has never felt so cold

This is the suffering
The echoes of your voice haunt
This faded memory
Is my demise

Your tongue is a dagger
And I am bleeding
My faded dreams were all for...

And I feel this all too slow
And I’ve been here for so long
And I feel so empty
As you walk away

What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?


I would give it all away
For the chance to shine again
I would freely pay the price
For the touch of your hand

And I feel this all too slow
And I’ve been here for so long
And I feel so empty
As you walk away

What have you done?
What have you become?
All is lost
We are left with sorrow

What have you done?
What have you become?
All is lost
We are left with sorrow

What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?

and i wonder why i feel so emo... so silly of me... Prop comedy

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Saturday, April 1st, 2006
7:20 am - sensational
Kindred soul-Puke Brains
Beautiful Day beautiful mind

s m o o o t h

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Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
10:57 pm - Existential
yeah--refined dream... then.. you just... die .?||

All's'well. I just lack a bit of motivation.

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Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
9:06 pm - Dirty Myself
OK I'm officially tipsy.

Action Plan: Unwind with a book on bed until slumber knocks.
I think this is the first time I have composed a Flow while in an ASC+Reading
My Ears are warm. Homeless people need Alcohol!

"Hey Raymond?... Is Ariana in that class?"

Woke up to Booker, felt exciting.

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Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
7:33 pm - How's Not Talking
I guess this is an Ultra Update.

To start: Yesterday, I though about commiting a LJ suicide removing my whileimhere journal. ”I had read it so many times... and ... I ... I wanted to keep it when I cam on here to type but, now I don’t see the point in keeping it again.... I’ll keep it around. I just gata let it roll in the back.

Um I Actually Tried for first s quarter... slacked second quarter. Went on vacation in third till it got WAY into the danger zone. ... actually im still slacking.. I just gata pass every class get my Diploma. I got accepted into Marylnd’s AAP. I’m probly not gonna get chosen because of limited enrollment. I keep wanting to go totally introvert but... I’m addicted to ciggs, (which I’ve Quit 3 times now. 4 weeks combined), people keep saying hey and inviting me places, reminding me I am That Awesome Guy. And... fuck it’s mainly cuz of ciggs. I broke my 4month THC abstinence 2 days before my B-Day... with someone who was totally not worthy. Ive shibbied it up about 5-6 times since then. I don’t think I’ll be doing that again till 420. Umm... Love... I still stand the same.. I have no clue what the fuck that Love thing is. I don’t know who I love I don’t even think I Love my mom... I mean I’d like protect/defend her from danger, but that’s only cuz she has this Love for me and shes done a lot and put up with a lot of shit. I have a low sexual frustration level. Or..—I think I went asexual—till I started working at a Health Grocery shop. I still was a sexual, but there would be moment where there’d be an explosion of Blueball. There were a lot fondling and hardcore dry-humping thoughts. The person I spent the most time with wasn’t “hot” she was just interesting.. and... female, I guess. To end this. I’ve ppicked up 2 books. I said I was going to try reading 2 books(of MY choosing) at the same time before but I dint do it. I admit I have blueballs. But what holds me back from all these female that I definitely know I can get, is the “so what-then factor” Aspects.. I dunno Im’ done move on.

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Saturday, March 11th, 2006
3:55 pm - De' De' De' DeDeDeDe, Just what Did he Say?
"Your imagination is an amazing gift. When things aren't quite to your liking, you're able to envision an alternate world to escape to. What's more, you glean inspiration from your mental wanderings to improve your reality."

Life is a refined memory.

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Friday, March 10th, 2006
10:29 pm - DIRT II
"You haven't said anything in a really long time"

and I love it.

Almost forgot; On tuesday err-- earlier this week, I woke up inside my dream: I realized it was a dream. I OOBEsaw myself sleeping.

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Sunday, March 5th, 2006
1:30 am - Full Disruption

I'm Ready for my burial at the Battle.

current mood: bonerdreams

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Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
7:05 pm - The Balance of Our kind
I have observed that I am happy for the longest amount of time when I divide and conquer

...and Forget

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Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
3:31 pm - Volvo
I'm have returned!!!!

After a 4 month long scape of delerium, Raymus Has returned to his morbid but welcoming abode.
I've got Ishmael, My Ishmael, and Story of B.


Let the spiraling commence.

current mood: doih`

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Monday, February 27th, 2006
2:22 pm

I'm soo sorry. I still love you babe.


...yes links and line breaks

Well my birthday passed a couple of days ago. No biggies. Dad tried to make it something special but i dint really give a sartssa. Bonku also came... She brought me a shirt and NutriGrain Bars--She really Loves me!

MySpace.. is quite an experience... Overall though, I'm maintaining a proper balance between Illusion, Poetry, deception, truth, and the everso present delirium.

Ive read a couple of spiritual books over the past 2 monfs and have become more and more comfortable/introverted.


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Thursday, January 19th, 2006
11:35 am
Myspace Blog

current mood: pensive

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Friday, December 2nd, 2005
4:16 pm
Notes from pocket notebook:

Everything is mad up. Sort of like the whole math thing... i mean, its all systematic. Just naming and labeling. Somethings dont even exist.. i think i stumbled upon this revelation after I read about scientists not knowing how LSD works on the brain.

Being a [chauvanistic pig] is part of the everyday escapes of the Male species.

What the fuck is up with february being 28 days?

I've been rendered inspontaneous by yesterday's horoscope:
"Why stay home when the big attraction is miles away from your living room couch? The truely spontaneous will pack an overnight bag and get going on the journey to romance and adventure"
--I watched Fight club and thought about and talked with Erykah...

Movie quotes...

I think im a big ass buzzkill

Too much tea, not enough food and water

Dozing off/zoning out while looking out the window of the Bethesda 8; i here voices call me back "Come on! COME ON RAYMOND!" in a "snap back to reality and do something; you much smarter/better than this" with a hint of -disappointment-anger in the voice. Sounded primary of a female voice(s?) and a low male type." the voices were like the afternoon nap Hallucination but Much less intense.

I havent been eating in the day time. Ive jusut been drinking tea; I eat in the PM (8PM-3ishAM)

It is said: NO MORE JAX!

Get out of my life... no relation to JAX statement.. i dont think. Just a random thought.

My wit and intelligence is not consistant. (Brought about by crossword puzzle).

umm... yeah THERE IS NO MORE Just do what you gata do.

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Friday, September 2nd, 2005
5:11 pm
I know this girl, She lives inside me N’I love her more than I know how to say I know this girl, she stands beside me N’ I ask her all about me everyday She loves me No I’m not fucking around with her I know this girl, she lives inside me N’I love her more than did yesterday I know this girl, she stands beside me N’ I ask her all about her milkyway No I’m not fucking around Y

U know what to do

current mood: 311!!! OMAHA STYLEY

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Monday, August 22nd, 2005
2:02 pm - Interesting
This is CNN… C…N…N … c n n {heh, Kung Pow}

DXM can be a step along the path, but it should never become the path itself

Electromagnetic and geomagnetic fields, earth lights, and the like, may be capable of inducing eddy currents in the temporal lobe limbic networks, resulting in all sorts of bizarre experiences (332,333). DXM (like other dissociatives) exerts some of its effects on these very same networks.

Aliens may be real in some sense, not necessarily little green men in flying saucers, but perhaps noncorporeal, electromagnetic entities.

Supernova-- "Macrocosm-microcosm". There is a sensation that one's "core" is rapidly shrinking, growing ever smaller and smaller, down to the size of a subatomic particle. Accompanying this shrinking sensation is a feeling of one's "outer shell" expanding equally rapidly, until it fills the entire universe. This is generally considered as a pleasant sensation, with a slight characteristic of free-fall.
Lilliputian Hallucinations-- After shrinking down to a proton, the Lilliputian Hallucinations begin. Everything that one imagines or recalls seems grossly distorted in size; Human figures alternate between tall and thin and stretched out like taffy, and shrunken and rounded. (I.e. Mr. Broadwater at the pool on the day of reckoning. He’s a huge burly guy, but I saw him as a puny, round little man) Many people see long, thin ribbons of multicolored energy.

::: Tears For Fears “Head Over Heels?” – The awesome Donnie Darko school intro Song

Pre-dosing- Exactly what I did the Day I melted
A few people report that taking a low "attack" dose at lower second plateau levels four hours or so before the main dose will greatly increase the chance for interesting altered states and paranormal experiences. (It probably also greatly increases the chance for side effects and brain damage.)

Benefit greatly from the use of various psychoactive drugs in meditation, spiritual exploration, and development of a personal philosophy.

One of DXM's most prominent effects if the flanging of sensory input. This happens to some extent with many drugs, and I have a hypothesis on this. Note in particular the relation of flanging to "stoning" and "buzzing" - in some ways, flanging is a more profound degree of stoning. Some people have noticed a flanging or strobing (stroboscopic) effect after smoking a great deal of cannabis, and nitrous oxide users are also familiar with flanging of sounds. Even alcohol can produce it. ::: Alcohol Just Makes Me Sloppy:::

"I need some hot chocolate and some fat chicks"

A meme is a "particle" or "virus" of thought - an idea which is in some ways self-contained, and which spreads like a virus. For example, the idea of civil liberties is a meme, which at some point sprang into existence, spread rapidly, and has now become an integral part of our consciousness. One user during a CANDY trip suddenly became aware of (or thought up) "The self-invoking, self-creating meme", which was the concept of a meme whose identification creates and invokes it. It seemed that this meme was timeless in the sense that it must have always existed, or it could not have come to mind, since it is not easily deducible from anything other than itself

Who the Fuck is Kurt Gödel?

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

I saw something last night that made me regret not taking any absinth at Alex’ on the last day of school. While skimming the channels, I ran across a drip of some sort. I came back and realized they were talking about making alcohol; and not just ANY alcohol; they were formulating absinth (the shit that I refused to drink because I was too stoned). Alex kept saying, “Absinth, it makes you see shit,” and today I found out the truth. After the drip was prepared, the guy hosting had a couple of shots. The car ride home began to be a little flanged (new vocab for stoned, but more stroboscopic). When he got to the hotel room, a segment with trippy TV tricks started, like was tripping-- “wait did I just say that or did I think … that.” Then he began to talk about Oscar Wild—Along with Earnest Hemmingway-- an apparent consumer of absinth. Then he began to talk to the vents through where Oscar could be heard whispering ghoulish incantations. Anyone had absinth before?


Karma Sutra and Speed = Miracle

Being BiPolar is much like the coming down of speed. The exception is, one always hovers around the “’O man. EVERYTHING is sooo good’ and the ‘WTF! there is no future in this cruel world’ zone.

Some guy actually hid under a mattress to hide from cops on COPS. The mattress was sticking up in the air.

Kendra is HEAT!


“There’s something wrong with my frontal lobe”

current mood: stressed

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